Senseless
by Mx Akiyata
Summary: Lovino gets bullied at school and is always put down by his dad. He fails at everything and is often compared to his cheerful twin brother. After being kicked out of school, he grows unusually quiet to the point that it actually worries his father. But by the time his dad decides to confront him, Lovino has already fallen too far. WARNINGS: bullying, cutting/suicidal attempts
1. Chapter 1

**This is just a fanfic I thought up and felt like writing...even though I already have two others going on at this time. I may not update this one often, but it won't be very long anyway; probably just a few chapters.**

**Since they're human in this fanfic, Ancient Rome is Lovino's father. It would be weird to have him be his grandfather since he looks so young.**

**_WARNINGS:_****_bullying, depression, cutting/suicide attempt_**

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><p>His alarm clock started going off, and he groaned and made a lazy attempt to reach for it. Realizing his arm was too short, he let it fall limply over the side of the bed and buried his face in the pillow.<p>

After a few more minutes, he heard the thumping footsteps of his father coming down the hallway. His door flung open, revealing a tall Italian man that looked much like himself but with slightly curlier hair and a more masculine build.

"Lovino!" the man shouted angrily. "Get up!" his father demanded and grabbed his arm, yanking him out of bed. "Now do you need me to dress you, or are you old enough to do that yourself?" he asked mockingly and stormed out of the room before his son could even reply.

The teenager sighed and headed to his dresser, grabbing the first clothing articles he could find and lazily dressing himself. He grabbed his book-bag off of the messy floor of his bedroom and slung it over his shoulder, dropping it in a kitchen chair before heading off to the bathroom.

Breakfast was irritating, to say the least. His father kept scolding him about how lazy he was and how messy his room had becoming, all while comparing him to his cheerful little brother, Feliciano.

Lovino hated this more than anything. It happened every day.

He was glad when he heard the school bus screech to a stop, so he and his brother could grab their stuff and run out of the house.

But the bus wasn't much better. As usual, Feli was sitting with a group of friends near the back, where the cool kids sat, talking and laughing. Lovino sat in the middle section, a little towards the front, by himself. He could hear the cheerfulness in his brother's voice, the 've~' emanating throughout the bus. He closed his eyes and leaned his head on the cold window, trying to block the noise out, which failed when he felt someone snickering over him. He opened his eyes and tilted his head to see a red-eyed senior with bleached hair; one of his bullies.

"Kesesesese~" the boy laughed. "Sitting alone again, are you? So unawesome."

Lovino turned back toward the window, trying to ignore it.

"Y'know, it's kind of amazing that you're Feli's twin," the boy said again.

"Bastard," Lovino mumbled, earning an ungrateful glare from the red-eyed boy.

"If you want to say my awesome name, it's _Gilbert_," the boy told him. "Man, Feli's right. You are a jerk. Kesesesese~" the boy laughed and continued to pester him throughout the ride.

_'Whatever,'_ Lovino thought and sprung up as soon as the bus stopped in front of the school. He rushed up the aisle, earning glares and curses as he bumped into people. He didn't care though. None of them liked him anyway, so why be nice? He just wanted to avoid any fights and get to class.

Most people ignored him, only throwing glares or purposely sneering away from him. Some actually bothered with spitting insults at him. Some actually _spit_ at him. He was used to it all, and so he kept walking as if nothing happened, not sparing a glance at any of them. He didn't want to see their hateful faces. They were already burned into his mind. Practically everyone in the school hated him, even the so called 'losers.' He was like the loser of the losers. Everyone compared his scowl to his brother's constant smile. They hated him for being so anti-social and grumpy all the time, but never once did they actually try to talk to him, unless it was to call him an asshole along with other names.

And then there were his bullies.

Lovino stared down at the essay in his hands; the one that the teacher just handed back to him with an angry look on her face. It was easy to see the lot of red marks that littered the paper.

He'd worked hard on this assignment. They'd been told to write a two-page essay about any world problem they could think of. He chose bullying. Bullying was a problem, wasn't it? And yet there was a note written in the margins of his paper: _"You've stated many examples of bullying, but you have failed to explain the consequences of bullying and why it is a problem."_ That's what the note said.

_'Damn it,'_ Lovino thought as he gripped the paper in his hands. He'd put his heart into this paper...because it was secretly based off of himself. But in the midst of his anger and pain as he was writing, he'd somehow forgotten that the goal of the essay was to explain _why_ something was a problem; the aftermath of whatever world problem they would write about. He'd failed to do that, and to make it worse, he forgot that it had to be in MLA format. And if that wasn't bad enough, his grammar and punctuation was horrible. He really wasn't the greatest with English, since it wasn't his first language.

He kept bashing himself in his mind as he continued to stare at the incredibly low score, thinking of how horribly he'd failed _yet again._

And that was when his bullies came in.

"Tsk, tsk," a melodious voice said from behind him, and a blond-haired senior draped an arm over Lovino's shoulder, staring at the failed grade. "You couldn't write a simple essay?" the blue-eyed boy asked, smirking mockingly and quirking an eyebrow in amusement.

"Kesesesese~" joined the familiar voice of Gilbert, snatching the paper out of the Italian's hands. "What a lame number. Even my awesome essay got more than this," he laughed and began to show other students the terrible score on Lovino's paper.

The blond boy chuckled as he noticed how tense and angry the Italian was becoming. "Oh come on, everybody is bad at some subject, non?" he asked as if trying to console him but then added with a grin, "Too bad you're not somebody."

And that was when Lovino lost it and turned on the blond boy, Francis, and began hitting him violently. Gilbert joined in trying to pry the Italian off of his friend, also getting hit in the process. The rest of the class watched in amusement or disgust until the teacher finally managed to stop the fight.

And the next thing he knew, Lovino was sitting in the principals office. _Again._ His temper had gotten him into trouble plenty of times before, though it was never quite this bad.

The principal sat his desk, propping himself up with an arm while blankly glaring at the Italian. Beside Lovino were Gilbert and Francis; both with bruises and bloody noses. They'd just told the principal that Lovino was angry that they got better scores than him and that they had done nothing wrong. The Italian boy tried to explain that they were shoving their scores down his throat, but the man would not have it. Both of the injured boys were liked by practically everyone in the school, while the Italian was _disliked_ and always getting into trouble. Honestly, who would he believe? The _good_ kids or the one that threw a temper tantrum?

Sighing, the principal told the other two to head back to class or to the nurse in case they didn't feel well enough. _'Of course they'd do the second,'_ Lovino thought. _'Anything to get out of class. Bastards.'_

"You're lucky tomorrow is the last day of the semester," the principal informed. "Otherwise, I would be expelling you right now."

Lovino felt as if he were sinking in his seat, a weight on his shoulders becoming heavier and heavier.

"Today and tomorrow, however, you will have both lunch and after school detention," the man said irritably. "You know, Vargas, I am getting fairly fed up with your trouble-making." He paused and picked up the telephone at his desk, looking at his computer screen to dial a number. "I am going to discuss with your father about sending you elsewhere next semester. For now, you should be going back to class." He held the phone to his ear and shooed Lovino out the door with a motion of his hand.

As soon as he closed the door, Lovino stood in the empty hallway, feeling as if the world weighed down on him. Slowly, he made his way back to class and grabbed his stuff just after the bell rang, and he headed to his next class.

During lunch, he skipped eating and sat in the detention room, writing over and over again that he would no longer misbehave. He was doing the same again at the end of the school day, when he had to stay behind for two more hours.

He was forced to walk home in the rain afterward. It was at least a forty minute walk, and he was drenched by the time he finally made it to the front door.

But of course, it wasn't much better once he got there. The moment he stepped inside was the moment his father started screaming at him in full-on Italian, which he only reverted to when he was _really_ angry.

"WHY ARE YOU SO DAMNED STUPID?!" was the first thing Lovino heard (that wasn't in Italian) as his dad stomped up to him and shouted in his face.

Lovino dropped his wet book-bag to the floor and kicked off his shoes. He clenched his teeth together and tightened his fists, trying not to lose his anger for the second time that day. He just listened to what his father had to say.

"CAN'T YOU GO _ONE DAY_ WITHOUT GETTING IN TROUBLE, LOVINO?!" he screamed and continued to ramble about other times that his son had gotten detention. "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU _HIT_ SOMEONE!"

"They started it," Lovino mumbled through his gritted teeth, but his furious father somehow heard it.

"Don't fucking lie to me, Lovino!" his dad shouted with more control than before. "Your principal said that you got angry over failing an essay! You're the one that hit them!"

"Because they wouldn't fucking leave me alone!" Lovino finally snapped and yelled back, which only sparked more anger in his father.

"No, Lovino! You wouldn't leave them alone! You never fucking get it, do you?" his father asked, seething with anger.

"Get what?! That I get blamed for every fucking little thing?!"

His father scoffed. _"Little?_ Lovino, you just got kicked out of school! That is NOT little! You fucking failed an essay! You _beat_ another student. And now I have to find another fucking school for you! You'll be lucky if any of them even want you!" he shouted once more.

Another weight added to the Italian boy's shoulders, and he found it hard to think. He didn't say anything back but simply growled and stomped to his room, slamming the door shut.

"DON'T BOTHER COMING DOWN FOR DINNER!" he heard his father shout one last time before everything went silent to him.

Lovino could hear a high-pitched buzzing in his ears, and he could feel his heartbeat pulsing through his body. Faintly, he could also hear the muffled voices of his father and brother talking calmly in the kitchen. His father always used such a sweet tone with his brother, and that sweet tone settled in Lovino's stomach like a rock.

He felt angry and sad and betrayed _-and unwanted-_ all at once.

He fell asleep early, hoping that this day would just end.

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><p><strong>I hope you enjoyed this chapter &amp; hope you stick around for whatever comes next. Thanks for reading &amp; please review ^_^<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**I got a sort-of request for Spain to be in this story, so I added him in here. He'll probably show up again at some point. Buuuttt, this is not a romance story, so there will be no direct Spamano. **

_**WARNINGS:**__** bullying, depression, cutting/suicide attempt**_

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><p>Lovino sneaked into the kitchen and grabbed a tomato for breakfast. He decided it'd be best to walk to school, so he wanted to leave early. But just as he was opening the door, he heard a soft and cheery voice behind him.<p>

"Lovi, where are you going~?" his brother asked as he appeared in the entryway. "The bus doesn't come for another twenty minutes."

"I know that, idiot," the elder twin said in an irritated tone, earning a frown from his brother. "I'm walking today. Tell Dad not to bother making breakfast for me." He turned back toward the door and waved over his shoulder, ready to walk out, but was stopped when he heard his father's voice.

"Do not call Feliciano an idiot, Lovino." The elder man sneered down at him but then switched into a light smile when he glanced at the younger twin. "Why don't you come to the kitchen, and we'll make your favorite," he told Feli and watched as the boy ran off to start the food. Once the boy was out of sight, he turned back to his other son and quickly gained a scowl. "Where is your book bag?"

Lovino tsked. "What's the point when it's my last day there?"

His father didn't seem too pleased with the answer but let it slide anyway. "Fine. But let me tell you this," he began his daily lecture. "If you screw up like this again, I will not be having it. Understand? No yelling. No fighting. Do what your superiors tell you. I don't care if it's your last day at this school. I do not need your bad reputation ruining my family name any further. Got it? Now go."

The young Italian didn't bother saying anything back but instead rolled his eyes and left soundlessly.

The walk to school was going pretty well; nice and quiet, that is...until he was suddenly shoved to the ground from behind. "What the fu-" he paused and glared up when he saw who was standing above him, laughing obnoxiously.

"Kesesesese~! How totally unawesome."

"Oui, that was pretty lame to fall on his face like that. Perhaps he's all talk after all?"

Lovino grudgingly got to his feet and growled at his two enemies. He so desperately wanted to punch their already-damaged-from-yesterday faces in. But his father had made it clear not to cause any more trouble. Even if he wasn't the one starting the fight, he knew that it would always end up being his fault. And so, he merely sneered and turned on his heel, walking quickly away from them.

"That it?" Gilbert called with a chuckle and nodded his head once.

Francis took the signal, and they both dashed toward the Italian, who glanced over his shoulder in fear at the sound of footsteps and began running himself. They chased him without rest and were actually surprised by how fast the Italian could run. But unfortunately for Lovino, he always had the worst luck.

Just as he was about to round the corner for the school, he slammed into something and fell to the ground. Next thing he knew, he was hastily pulled up and slammed against the wall of a building.

"Kesesesese~! Hey, Antonio," Gilbert greeted and helped a Spanish boy to his feet. Said boy was rubbing his head and wincing.

"Hey, Gil. What's up?" Antonio asked tiredly. And then he noticed the Italian boy being held to the wall. "Ah- Francis, what are you doing to Lovi?"

"Ohononon~ We are getting payback for what he did to us yesterday, mon ami," he smirked and then smiled genuinely at his friend. "Want to join us?"

Before the Spaniard could reply, he was interrupted by the sound of a body being slammed against cement. He watched as his two best friends began to senselessly beat the most hated kid in school. He'd never liked Lovino's bad personality to begin with, but he still didn't agree with such harsh behavior. And so, he tried in vain to stop his friends. It wasn't until they saw their usual bus pull up to the school that they finally stopped and dropped the Italian's limp body to the ground.

Lovino rolled to his side and moaned at the pain in his ribs.

"I suppose we should be getting to class now, non?" Francis asked with a smile, completely ignoring the boy he'd just beaten. Gilbert laughed and followed him away, neither of them looking even the slightest bit guilty. Antonio stood there a moment, looking at Lovi with pity until he was finally chased off by an angry Italian.

He was all alone now, and it hurt to walk. But he still managed to make it to through the school doors on time and went through the day while receiving various stares for all of the fresh bruises on his face and the now-dried blood on his clothes. A lot of students assumed that he'd picked another fight and even scolded him, saying that he deserved to get hurt if he was going to cause trouble. The teachers looked down on him, glaring. Of course, he was in no mood to say anything back to them at the moment, so he just took whatever insults they had for him. Those two bullies of his kept laughing every time they saw him, and the stupid Spaniard kept looking at him with pity. Even Feli, his own brother, kept his distance and simply stared blankly at him.

_'Bastards,'_ Lovino thought. _'Even my own damn brother is looking down at me.' _He tried to pay attention in class and walking down the hallways, but all he could do was think of the pain he was in and how he seriously had no one on his side.

When lunch finally came, he was actually glad to have detention. It got him away from everyone; _almost_ everyone. There were always the other kids in DT with him, but that was fine because the room was kept quiet under the stern eyes of the teacher watching them from his desk.

He was supposed to be writing about how he'd no longer misbehave, but he couldn't clear his mind of those hateful thoughts and comments, and he ended up clutching his head without even realizing it until the teacher grudgingly asked if he wanted to go to the nurse. He shook his head and went back to writing without a single word or complaint.

When the day was finally over, his after-school detention included, Lovino headed home. As soon as he walked in the door, of course, his father bombarded him with angry yelling. Feli must have told him about Lovi being in a fight.

"WHAT EXACTLY DID I TELL YOU _NOT_ TO DO, LOVINO?!" the man shouted.

Lovino quietly took off his shoes and jacket and put them away neatly without even sparing his father a glance. He then silently made his way to his room. He'd heard his dad yelling, but he really didn't want to bother arguing. He knew who'd be right in the end anyway. Instead, he just climbed into bed, not bothering with his bloodied clothes or even with the covers of the bed.

He didn't sleep; just thought over his life. He thought of every insult that was thrown his way, every little thing that went wrong in his life, every time he was compared to his brother...and how not a single person cared enough to listen to him. And he came to a conclusion.

He just had to stop. He had to stop talking or risk saying something wrong. He had to stop trying to speak his opinions or risk being hated more. He had to stop doing things around others or risk messing something up. He just had to stop being him.

Distance. Distance would keep him safest. And it would keep others from having to deal with him.

And thus, Lovino Vargas decided to stop caring.

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><p><em><span>Four days later:<span>_

Lovino had transferred to a new school for the new semester. He was new there, so he was quickly bombarded by unfamiliar faces that wanted to meet him. His usual self would scowl and probably yell at them to get away, but he didn't want to be that guy anymore. Instead, he kept quiet and just stared blankly at the people around him.

But that didn't stop them from hating him.

"He's so weird," one kid whispered.

"Dude, he won't stop staring like that. It's creeping me out," another said.

"He won't even talk to us. What a jerk," some popular girl tsked.

Lovino listened to what they had to say, and the insults just kept coming. He hadn't even said anything; not a single word. And yet he was still being hated. _'No matter where Feli goes, he's loved by everyone. No matter where I go or what I do, everyone hates me..."_ he thought to himself and sank in his seat.

Once again, he found himself glad that the day was over, and he felt himself surprised by how much control he had over his anger. Even though it pissed him off that people were wrongfully judging him, he didn't lose his temper. It was a strange feeling...like instead of that hot fire he'd always felt inside when he'd heard peoples' comments, it was just a hollow emptiness with the addition of some heavy pain in his chest and stomach.

When he got home, he half-expected to be screamed at, but when he opened the door, he was greeted with silence. It felt like a ticking time bomb...like someone could explode at any given minute.

Lovino dropped his book bag on the messy floor of his room and silently crept into his bed, falling asleep. He didn't even notice the man now standing in the doorway.

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><p><strong>I hope you enjoyed this chapter &amp; hope you stick around for whatever comes next. Thanks for reading &amp; please review ^_^<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**I don't think I gave their dad a name in this story yet, so I'm just gonna call him Romulus.**

**Also, I am REALLY sorry it took so long to get this chapter completed. ^^; I've been so extremely busy with college work that it's actually ridiculous...actually, I should probably be doing work right now too...heh...but of course, as I finally finish with this chapter, this website has freaking uploading problems. Just my luck. Ah well. **  
><strong>Also...seriously, how did this get so many followers with just two chapters?!<strong>

_**WARNINGS: bullying, depression, cutting/suicide attempt**_

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><p>Lovino's father stood in the doorway of his room and watched how quickly and silently the boy had fallen asleep. He wanted to brush it off as his son's usual laziness, but something just didn't feel right. Lovi was usually always scowling and arguing. Lately, the boy wore more of a frown or a blank expression and had barely said a word.<p>

Romulus sighed and left the room, rubbing his neck in exhaustion. Walking into the kitchen, he spotted his other son just starting to prepare dinner. "Feliciano, have you talked to your brother lately?"

Feli looked up from the stove and gave his father a quizzical look. "Ve...Lovi doesn't talk to me much, papa," the boy answered with a clueless smile. "How come you're asking?"

"Ah...it's nothing. I was just wondering."

The conversation didn't go much further, and after a while of random small talk, the pasta Feli was making was finally finished. As his father set the table, he bounded off into the hallway to wake his brother for dinner. However, he paused outside the near-closed door when he heard what sounded like sniffling. After listening for a bit, he furrowed his eyebrows in worry and gently pushed the creaky door open.

"Ve~? Lovi, are you alright?" he asked, slight worry showing in his voice.

Lovino stiffened at the voice and stopped breathing for a moment. "I'm fine," he answered stubbornly despite what his thoughts were saying. He sniffed again and subconsciously buried himself into the blanket on his bed, facing away from the door.

Feli tilted his head to the side and frowned. "But Lovi, you're crying."

"I am not crying, Feli! I'm just tired!" the elder twin explained in a raised voice, though it wasn't quite a shout. "And I'm not hungry, so just go eat your damn food."

"Alright...I'll save some for you, okay?" said the younger Italian as he turned to leave the room.

"Wait."

Feliciano turned back toward his brother, who was now facing him. "Yeah, Lovi?" he asked, hoping that his brother would come eat dinner after all, since he rarely ever joins them for meals anymore.

"I just...wanted to ask you something. And I want your answer honestly, okay?"

His brother quirked an eyebrow in confusion. "Um, okay. What is it?"

Lovino sighed and sat up in his bed, staring at his brother exhaustively. "If you can think of anything...is there something you think I'm good at? Like a talent or something."

Feli smiled at the question, though not really understanding the meaning of why his brother would ask such a thing. "Of course, Lovi~ You're really good at yelling and fighting." He smiled cluelessly and didn't really notice his brother's shoulders go slack.

"Is that all?"

"Um, well you're good at taking siestas too~! It's usually hard to wake you, fratello."

Lovino grumbled as he sighed. "Fine. Alright, that's all I wanted to know," he said as he lifted himself from the bed and tripped over stuff on the way to the door. "I'll be there in a bit," he informed his brother while on his way to the restroom. Feli smiled and gave a little cheer as he ran out to the dining room.

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><p>"So how's the new school?" Romulus asked his son, who had decided to join them for dinner and surprisingly didn't look tired at all (Lovi was sure to wash his tear-stricken face before coming down).<p>

Lovino groaned as he plucked a fork of pasta into his mouth. "School is stupid," he said at last, after swallowing his food. His father sighed at the answer.

"Just don't be causing anymore trouble."

Lovi gave his father a strange look, weirded-out by the lack of yelling and scolding. His dad was actually being calm. It put him on edge. Cautiously, he twirled pasta around his fork and took another bite, still eyeing his father as if waiting for something to happen. Nothing happened, however, except for Feliciano rambling about random stuff as their father just nodded and occasionally glanced at the older son. Lovino felt uncomfortable with his father looking at him like that. It was usually either anger or nothing at all when they were in the same room together. So why wasn't he being scolded or even ignored? Of course this put him on edge. It was unusual.

_'He's probably looking for something to yell at me for,'_ Lovino thought as he finished his plate and got up to toss it in the sink. He swore he could _feel _his dad's eyes following him as he left the room without a word. _'Not gonna wash your own plate, Lovino?'_ he imagined his father saying, but nothing ever came. It wouldn't matter anyway. He wouldn't want to stay there any longer just to be watched so closely. It was as if his dad was constantly making sure he didn't do anything wrong or screw anything up as always.

Lovino flopped back onto his bed, whispering "Fuck" and then slipping into a silence as his eyes bore into the ceiling.

_"Dude, he won't stop staring like that,"_ his classmate's voice rang into his thoughts. _"He won't even talk to us."_

He rolled onto his side and partly wrapped himself in a blanket, gripping tightly to the edge of the fabric.

_"What a jerk."_

The young Italian did sleep well that night, for his mind was clouded with the thoughts of others. And the worst part was that he'd have to hear it again tomorrow.

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><p>"What's up, new kid?" a tall blonde kid asked, taking the seat in front of Lovino. The boy had a large, unkind smirk on his face and had a voice that just radiated throughout the room. Behind him were four others.<p>

The tallest wore glasses and an intense expression. Next to him was a much smaller boy that seemed to sprout happiness in comparison. In the back was what looked to be a younger student (probably a freshman) that had silvery hair and was wearing very tall, laced boots. And lastly, on the end was a very bored-looking fellow with an upside-down cross in his hair.

_'Pretty sure that goes against the dress code,'_ Lovi kept to himself and quirked an eyebrow at the blonde in front of him.

"Can ya talk, kid?" he asked again.

Lovino sighed and crossed his arms, leaning back in his seat. "Yeah, I can talk," he answered and smirked at the slight surprise in everyones' faces. They must not have been expecting anything.

"So ye can talk after all!" the boy exclaimed excitingly, his smirk morphing into a large grin. "Awesome! Awesome! So I'm the first one ya spoke to, huh? Guess I'm just cool like that."

"Actually, you were just annoying me, and I was hoping you would go away if I answered you," the Italian bluntly answered, causing the blonde to frown confusingly.

A silence filled the room as everyone thought about that until the one will the cross hair clip spoke up. "I like this kid," he said in an emotionless voice and caused the 'annoying' one to quickly turn on him with an expression of exaggerated betrayal.

"Lukaaassss~" he whined to the boy that had spoken.

Lovino sighed heavily. "Listen, I'm trying to not be an asshole here, so don't push me. I get annoyed easily."

"Aw man, you're just like Luke then. Bummerrrr~"

"God, you're whiny."

Before the other could reply, the emotionless one intervened and pulled the blonde from his seat, taking it for himself. He looked Lovino in the eyes. "It can be difficult to ignore the stupid Dane. Trust me, I've tried," he said while gesturing to the annoying blonde. "But Matthias is annoying, therefore I give you permission to be an asshole."

"Hey!" Matthias shouted in defense.

The happy and intense-looking ones stepped forward and introduced themselves as Tino and Berwald. The youngest one stubbornly glanced over and stated his name as Eirikur. Lovino wasn't sure how he'd ended up in such a situation, but somehow, he was invited to lunch by the group of five and was treated fairly well, despite his harsh attitude. Lukas and Eirikur themselves seemed to have bad attitudes (mostly toward Matthias), so they were pretty accepting of him, much to his surprise.

Lovino found it strange to get along with others. It was something that never happened, and yet there he was, laughing alongside these five at lunch. He and Lukas tossed insults at 'the stupid Dane,' who was too carefree and cheerful to be harmed by them.

It felt good to fit in for once. When the other students saw him hanging out with 'the Nords' (one of the cool groups in the school), they seemed to warm up to Lovino as well, assuming that he had just been shy the first day or something of that sort. But in this school, it seemed like the cool kids picked on each other a lot, so of course he figured that it would suit him perfectly.

He was wrong.

It'd been not even two weeks since he'd befriended the Nords, and he already found himself in the middle of a serious argument between them. All day long, he'd sensed some sort of tension in the air of the group...and stupidly decided to ask why they were all being such grumpy bastards. Apparently that was a bad choice because Lukas got uncharacteristically angry and actually began shouting, though it was more directed towards Matthias and Eirikur than towards Lovino. And of course, a huge argument erupted in their group, with Tino and Berwald trying in vain to break it up. He still had no idea what they were fighting over, but he figured that if he said anything else, it might spark yet another argument.

His new-found friends had their own problems to deal with at the moment, and Lovino didn't know what they were; however, his anxiety was building up. Keeping quiet wasn't exactly something he was good at, and he was actually nervous about what they could have been fighting over. From the looks of it, Lukas was angry with Eiriker, and Matthias was probably just trying to defend him or something, though Lovino didn't know for sure because they had argued in an entirely different language.

But no matter how much his senses were saying that it had nothing to do with him, his stomach was doing flips. What if they didn't want him in their group of friends, and Lukas was just defending him? Or maybe it was vise-versa. Maybe Lukas, the one Lovi had become closest to, didn't want him as their friend. No, Lukas was What if they all hated him, and that was why they were speaking in another language? They were debating whether to ditch him or not.

But were they? Maybe this had nothing to do with him after all...

* * *

><p>The last school bell rang. Lovino sighed and closed his notebook. He'd been thinking too much during class and had actually forgotten to take any notes. Oh well. That's just another thing to add to the list of things he'd done wrong. Exhaustively, he dragged his feet on the way to his locker, placing his notebook inside while also rummaging through his stuff to see what he needed to take home. By the time he'd finished, the hallway was practically deserted. Normally one of his 'friends' would accompany him out to the school gate, where they'd part ways, but no one was there.<p>

Letting out a frustrated sigh, the Italian closed his locker and headed for the doors. He stopped immediately in his tracks as he walked past the bathrooms, hearing two very familiar voices coming from inside. It was the first thing he heard that caused him to stop.

"Why do you insist on being friends with him?!" demanded a voice sounding like Lukas.

Lovino immediately felt his anxiety skyrocket, but he couldn't help but listen. He wanted it to be a misunderstanding.

"And what exactly is so wrong with him?" Eirikur's voice demanded. "If anything, you should like him. He's stubborn and practically lacks emotion half the time. Yeah, he's a jerk, but he's not so different from you!"

"Do _not _compare me to that brat, little brother!" Lukas scolded. "Why don't you ever listen to your big brother? I _do not_ want you around him. He is a bad influence on you."

"Seriously?! And what exactly makes him so bad, _Lukas?_"

What Lovino heard next almost made his legs give out, and he found himself running out of the school with no real destination set in his mind. But his friend's words kept ringing through his head, pounding deeper into his cracked heart with each time it repeated.

_"All he's good for is causing trouble."_

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><p><strong>Hmm...are Lukas and Eirikur really talking about Lovino? But what's Lovi going to do now that he thinks he's lost his first friends? Well, I guess we'll have to see. Hopefully I will be able to make more time to work on fanfics...not sure when I will get the next chapter up, but I will try to not take as long as I did with this one.<strong>

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter & hope you stick around for whatever comes next. Thanks for reading & please review ^_^**


	4. Chapter 4

**Forgive me for taking so long. Huh...it really has been a while, huh? My apologies. Well, here is the next chapter. It's probably a bit upsetting, but I hope you enjoy it anyway.**

_**WARNINGS: **__**bullying, depression, cutting/suicide attempt**_

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><p>"All he's good for is causing trouble," Lukas accused, glaring down at his brother, who glared back with even more hate.<p>

"You barely know him," Eirikur sneered and gritted his teeth.

"I know well enough that he's been expelled for bringing explosives to school."

"_Fireworks, _Lukas."

"Does not change the fact that he used them against an adult; a teacher no less."

"That teacher was being a prick," Eirikur countered.

"Language!" the elder brother scolded and grabbed his sibling's wrist. "See, your mind has already been corrupted by that brat. And it does not matter how unruly your teacher is. You should always be respectful."

"Don't tell me about respect! Leon has _way_ more respect than you. At least _he_ doesnt judge people he doesn't know!" Eirikur shouted and earned a rather harsh slap across the face from his brother. He turned his head back and glared hatefully into his brother's emotionless eyes. Tears pricked the corners of the younger boy's eyes, but they were more of angry tears than anything.

"Do _not_ raise your voice at me, Eirikur."

The younger teen pulled out of his brother's grip and sharply turned and left the room without a word. Lukas sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose before finally leaving the restroom after his brother. He didn't bother waiting by the car. Eirikur always took long walks when he was fuming and wouldn't bother coming home until the late hours, when Lukas was usually too tired to be angry and would simply tell him to go to bed. It happened every time, and they fought quite a lot, even for brothers...surely this time would be no different.

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><p><em>"All he's good for is causing trouble," <em>rang through Lovino's head on repeat. He couldn't stop thinking of it; couldn't stop running from the thoughts and memories that flooded his mind with that one sentence. He didn't even know where he was going. No, he was just barely aware of the world around him. But his legs just kept moving, his calves burning like fire by the lack of oxygen. Eventually, he collapsed under an old bridge in the next town over. How he got there, he wasn't even sure. All he knew was that he was lost and wasn't even sure if he wanted to find his way back. He just lay there in the cold dirt, trying to catch his breath.

He must have lain there for a couple hours, finally losing the horrid thoughts in his mind. All that was left was emptiness. It was calming; relaxing almost. Yet it hurt so much. The only thing he was truly aware of was the sound of vehicles passing overhead. Aside from that, it was just...numbness.

Was this even real anymore?

The Italian raked a hand through his hair and let out a long sigh, allowing his arm to drop back to the ground. When it landed, he flinched and jumped slightly, then lifted the arm in front of his face to inspect the injury. He'd accidentally dropped it onto a piece of broken glass that just so happened to be sticking up from the dirt. Great.

He watched as a trickle of blood slid down his arm and dripped onto his cheek. He blinked, calmly breathing as he observed the feeling of pain slowly fading away from the cut and falling back to an inner-numbness. He felt alone again; nonexistant. And that's when he realised that he missed feeling that pain. Bringing his arm down carefully, he turned his head to the side and noticed that there was actually much more broken glass under the bridge. He sat up quickly, his head throbbing at the sudden movement, and he looked beneathe him to make sure he hadn't been lying on any. There were some pieces of glass; too small to really do much damage. But the one his arm had been cut on was rather large and protruding. He grabbed it and yanked it from the dirt with a bit of trouble, staring at the sharp, green object in his hand. He could just barely see his reflection in it. It was dirty, so he took his thumb to wipe it clean again. His reflection didn't clear much; just a blurred image of himself on a green surface. The Italian turned the piece of glass in his hands, feeling the edges until one rather sharp part slid across his palm, leaving a small trail of blood. He grimaced at first but then watched patiently as the red liquid slowly rose from the cut. It was intriguing, and it hurt...but it also felt...real?

He gripped the glass harder, cutting slightly into his hand, and purposely made a trail down the opposite forearm. It didn't do much for him, for it was simply on the surface of his skin, so he made another; and another. He kept cutting to draw more of the crimson liquid. It seemed that when it left his body, so did the emptiness. The pain of his thoughts were still there, of course, but it was over-powered by the physical pain in his arms. He ignored his thoughts and focused on the blood. Oh, how he loved the color red; just like tomatoes. He paused at the thought, dropping his weakened arm to the side. He could feel the pulse throbbing in his arm as if it were screaming for attention.

_'Why am I doing this?' _Lovino thought, staring ahead at nothing in particular with blank eyes_. 'This is pathetic. God, I'm pathetic!' _He glanced down at his bleeding arm, marked by dozens of cuts. He'd gotten out of control. Some of the cuts would probably leave scars for the rest of his life._ 'How the hell am I supposed to hide this?' _he cried in his mind and leaned forward so that he was scrunched over himself. He began to sob at the thought of what people would think if they were to see his arm. They'd probably be disgusted.

His head started spinning, and he found it hard to think straight. Ideas flashed through his mind_. 'So what if they're disgusted,' _he thought suddenly and sat up as best he could, weaking raising his arms again. He positioned the glass over his arm and slowly dug it in, much deeper than the others. He winced and even cried out at the pain, but he knew it'd be over soon. _'If I'm not here, then it doesn't matter what they think.' _He started to slide across his wrist. The hand holding the object quickly became covered in blood as it began to spill from the gaping cut.

Black spots danced across his vision, and everything started to blur. He wasn't sure of his surroundings anymore, and he'd lost the ability to hold himself up. The Italian's mind slipped away as his body crashed into the dirt, the crimson liquid forming a pool under his arm.

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><p>Eirikur was pissed with his brother. They were always fighting. It was aggravating, yet he had no choice but to go back home in the end. Lukas was the only real family he had left, after all, and he didn't want to get his friends in trouble by staying with them. Leon didn't live close enough to stay at his place.<p>

It was late now. The teen had been walking around for hours, and it was starting to get dark out. He stopped on a bridge and stared out over it, watching his breath fog the air. He'd had plenty of time to cool off, but he was still reluctant to go home. His brother had never actually hit him before, so Eirikur wasn't sure if he'd simply let him go up to bed tonight. He sighed and continued walking. Just as he was about to step off the other side of the bridge, something caught his attention. He could smell...copper?

_'Blood,' _he thought and cautiously looked around. The town wasn't exactly great, but he knew it wasn't a dark place where bad things happened. Still, he couldn't help but think that something was up. Bridges were a common place for street thugs, druggies, and dumping bodies...at least, that's what Leon had told him.

The teen followed the smell, sneaking down the hillside to get to the bottom part of the bridge. He leaned up against the wall and listened, but he couldn't hear talking or anything other than the sound of vehicles crossing above. The smell, however, was much stronger. He quietly reached down to grab a large stone as precaution and gripped it tightly in his hand. Taking a deep breath, Eirikur quickly swung out into the open and braced himself for what he might face. What he found, though, made him freeze up and drop the rock almost instantly.

'Lovino?!' he tried to shout, but only strangled sounds came from his mouth. He swallowed the lump in his throat and ran up to his unconscious friend in an instant, examining his injuries.

He quickly dug the cell phone out of the Italian's pocket and dialed 911. Stuttering, he asked for an ambulance and gave all the information he could. They told him not to hang up until the medics arrived, so he hung on the line while trying his best to stop his pale friend's bleeding by using his own shirt as a bandage. He held the phone between his ear and shoulder as he did so and waited. He could hear the ambulance from the distant, the siren getting closer with each passing second. It felt like an eternity before he could finally see the vehicle approaching.

Relief washed over Eirikur as he watched the medics rush out of the vehicle with a stretcher, and for the first time, he tried to process what was going on. As they took over with stopping the bleeding, he was asked to step back. As he did so, he noticed the bloody piece of glass in his friend's hand and felt his own lip quiver. He was in such a panic that he hadn't even thought about _how_ Lovino could have gotten those injuries. Now he understood.

Tears forming in his eyes, the Icelander asked a medic what hospital they were going to as they boarded up his friend. He nodded as the answer and tried to breathe normally again. Searching through Lovino's contacts (since he still had his cell phone), Eirikur found the one labeled "Asshole Father" and pressed it, holding the phone to his ear as it rang. He breathed unevenly, trying to calm himself.

"Lovino, where are you?!" answered a man in angry Italian.

"U-Um. I'm sorry. I'm not Lovino..." Eirikur responded, though he hadn't understood what the man had said. "Are you his father?" he asked.

"Yes, who is this?" Romulus answered in English, his voice much kinder now, though showing a bit of confusion.

"I'm a friend," the teen answered, his voice quivering again. He swallowed and took at breath before continuing. "You need to come to the hospital. I found Lovino unconscious and seriously injured. I don't know how bad it is yet, but I'm heading there now."

There was a pause on the other end of the phone, as if the Italian man had been shocked to silence.

"Mr. Vargas?"

"Y-Yes. Thank you for informing me. Which hospital is he at?" Romulus finally answered, the shock and fear evident in his voice. The teenager gave all the information he could and hung up after being thanked many times. He then headed toward the hospital across town, his own worries completely gone.

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><p><strong>Oh, Lovi...poor fella.<strong>

**Hope you enjoyed this chapter, as upsetting as it is...maybe one or two chapters left? Not really sure. I'm just goin' with the flow here. haha**

**Thanks for reading & please review ^_^**


	5. Chapter 5

**Here is yet another chapter~! Hope you enjoy.**

_**WARNINGS: **__**bullying, depression, cutting/suicide attempt**_

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><p>Lovino's memory was a haze. He'd thought he had died. For the longest time, he couldn't wake up. He couldn't hear or feel anything. Then suddenly, he started to feel numbness in his body and could make out the muffled sound of a beeping machine. He could feel a liquid dripping into his good arm and bandages tightly wrapping the other.<p>

_'I'm in a hospital...? Why...?' _he thought miserably_. 'Who the hell bothered to save me?' _Before he could stop them, tears were rolling down his cheeks in streams. He brought his good arm up and laid it across his face, covering his eyes as he silently cried and choked back the sobs that were so desperate to escape.

"Lovino?!" shouted a familiar voice, and he soon felt a rough hand grab his own, pulling him into a hug.

"Why?!" the young Italian cried with false anger. "Why am I still alive...?" he finished, whimpering and earning an even tighter hug from the other person. Lovino immediately felt hot tears falling onto him and removed his arm to see the burning face of his father; only this time, it was not red out of anger. The elder leaned his forehead onto his son's and ran a hand through his hair, sobbing uncharacteristically.

"I'm sorry, Lovino. I'm so sorry," the man sobbed, kissing his son's head and continuing to repeat the apology as if it were a chant that could heal everything. It wasn't. But it did mean something. The teenager had been waiting to hear those words his whole life, and now here they were. But they weren't as satisfying as he'd dreamed. They didn't seem as real. He didn't even know why his father was apologizing. Was he sorry that Lovino had lived? Was he sorry that his son couldn't keep a single friend? Maybe he'd had enough of his failure of a son ruining the family name and was sorry that he was putting him up for adoption? A hundred different reasons flashed through the boy's mind, and he couldn't find himself to say ask his father. He was terrified of the answer, and this fact did not help to slow his tears.

"Lovi?" an innocent voice rang from one of the chairs against the hospital room's wall. Lovino opened his eyes to see his perfect brother; the twin that wasn't a complete mess. He wasn't entirely surprised when the usually-cheery Italian burst into tears; however, it completely shocked him when their father didn't leave him to aide the younger twin. Instead, Feliciano joined him in hugging Lovino. "Lovi, you -_hic_- scared me," the boy cried and did nothing to prevent the hiccups as he spoke.

Lovino stared down at his lap, feeling a bit guilty. He really didn't think his family would be upset about losing him. No. If anything, he thought they'd be happy...so what was this? They really did care? They never seemed to before, so...so why now?

"Lovino."

His father's booming voice snapped him from his thoughts, though the powerful tone was actually used quite softly for once; the voice that had only ever been directed toward Feli. Lovi blinked and slowly raised his head to meet his father's saddened eyes. He quickly looked away, down at the floor this time, and focused on a spot.

"Look at me," Romulus demanded calmly. His son listened, lifting his gaze once again. This time, the elder Italian froze, his voice being caught in his throat. The look in his son's eyes...it had always been so bratty and angry...but now it was far more vulnerable and hurt than he'd ever thought possible. He didn't like it. "I know...that this may be a stupid question," the man began in his native language. "But...why? Why would you want to kill yourself, Lovino? Look at me," he added when the boy's eyes started to drift off again. "Talk to me. Please," he pleaded, tears forming in his own eyes as he watched the unshed ones sparkle within his son's. For a long while, Lovino kept quiet, not sure where to even begin. He didn't want to seem weak, and he certainly didn't want his father to think ill of him for being so selfish. But above all, he didn't want his father to blame himself for anything, even if he had contributed fair amount to Lovi's mental instability. After some time, Romulus decided it was best not to push his son to talk when he clearly did not want to. Instead, he found himself embracing the boy in a tight hug, raking his fingers through the young Italian's hair and saying that it would be alright and that he loved him. He apologized for always being so angry and unfair with his son, for not listening to him when he really should have...and he promised that he would never let this happen again.

Feliciano tugged on his father's sleeve from behind, getting the man to back away from his brother. Then, he replaced him and wrapped Lovino in a tight hug. "I was so scared, Lovi..." he whispered into his twin's ear. "I love you. Please don't hate yourself anymore, Lovi."

Lovino wanted so badly to listen to his brother; to not hate himself. But no matter how much he tried, he simply could not find anything to love about himself.

"We were all so worried about you," the younger twin continued. "Your friend is really worried too. He's been in the waiting room all this time. You wanna talk to him?" Just as he asked the question, a nurse stepped in the room and informed them that they had already stayed well past the visiting hours and that they'd have to leave Lovino to rest. "Oh..." Feli said sadly and nodded to the nurse. "Alright. I guess we'll be leaving then..." She smiled and left the room shortly after. "Love you, Lovi," he said and hugged his brother again, kissing him on the cheek and smiling as he got up from the bed.

"We'll stop by first thing in the morning," Romulus added and ruffled Lovino's hair, leaning down to kiss his forehead again. "Get some rest. I love you, okay?" he said and smiled genuinely at his son. The two of them left Lovino to himself afterward...and unbeknownst to them, he broke into tears when they were gone and lay awake for hours before finally drifting off into some much needed sleep.

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><p>Eirikur had been sitting in the waiting room for hours, worrying about his friend. Nothing like this had ever happened to him before. He had expected to simply go out for a walk to clear his head. What he certainly didn't expect was to save a life that night. But now he didn't even spare a thought towards the argument he had with his brother. Right then, he wanted nothing more than to know that Lovino was alright; to know that he wasn't found too late.<p>

The Icelander knew it was late, but he did not bother to check the time. He just wanted word on his friend...but unfortunately, the nurses would not let him visit just yet since he was not family. They'd told him to come back tomorrow, but he just didn't want to leave without knowing for sure that his friend would be okay. Eventually, he had lulled off to sleep in an uncomfortable waiting room chair and wasn't awoken until much later, when Romulus gently shook him awake. Eirikur blinked to see the two Italians standing above him and immediately sprang up to ask if his friend was alright.

"Yes, he'll be fine...thanks to you." Romulus placed a hand on the boy's shoulder and smiled in thanks. "They said he could have died had you not stopped the bleeding when you had. You've saved my son's life, and I can not thank you enough." Before Eirikur could respond, he was pulled into a hug by the elder Italian. Feliciano joined in on the hug and tossed many thanks toward the younger teen that saved his brother's life. "Now then, you'll be needing a ride home?"

"Ah- No, that's alright, Mr. Vargas. You have too much to worry about...I don't want to be a burden. I can just walk home-"

"Now where does my son go off finding friends with such great manners?" Romulus joked and shook his head slightly. "It's alright, boy. If it weren't for you, I'd have much more to worry about. It won't be too much of a problem to make a little detour. And please, call me Romulus." He straightened himself up and put a hand behind Eirikur's back to push him along as they walked out of the hospital.

"O-Oh...alright...thank you."

"Not at all, my boy. We are very much in your debt for what you've done." The three of them climbed into the vehicle and headed off toward their own town, where they detoured and headed to the address the teen had given them as his home. "By the way...Lovi's friend?" Romulus asked at some point during the ride, glancing through the mirror at the half-asleep teen.

"Hm? Oh, yes?" the Icelander asked, perking up when he realized that he'd nearly fallen asleep.

"Did I ever get your name?" the Italian asked.

"Oh. Uh, no, I don't think so. I'm Eirikur."

"Eirikur. All right. Well it was nice to meet you, Eirikur," Romulus said as he pulled up in front of the teen's house. He smiled as the boy got out and thanked him again for the ride. "Not a problem. It's the least I could do."

"Veh," Feli added. "And I'm Feliciano, by the way."

"Ah, alright. I'll remember that," Eirikur smiled. "Um...I guess I'll see you tomorrow, maybe?"

"Alright," the young Italian chirped and grinned. "Have a good night, okay?"

"Yeah. Thanks," the Icelander responded awkwardly. "You too," he said and waved them off as they drove away. When they were gone from sight, he turned and walked up to the house. He tried the doorknob first but found it locked; not surprising since it was close to three in the morning by then. He fetched a spare key from its hiding place and unlocked it before replacing the key, and ever so quietly, he stepped inside and closed the door behind him. He was careful not to make too much noise as he took off his shoes and jacket in the dark. The last thing he wanted was to wake his brother, but of course, luck was against him, and he was caught off guard by a voice from the living room.

"You're awfully late," Lukas called from the couch in the living room, where he had been reading a book as he waited for his brother to return home. In all honesty, he had been worried that something might have happened to the boy, for he had never been out this late before. However, now that the teen seemed to return alright, that worry was replaced with anger.

Eirikur sighed and walked into the living room, spotting his brother sitting by a lamp with a book in hand. At first, Lukas seemed engulfed in whatever he was reading, but as soon as he looked up, he jumped from the couch and stomped over to the teen, grabbing his wrist. The Icelander was quite surprised by the action and was about to question it until he was interrupted.

"Why the hell is there blood on your clothes?!" Lukas demanded. "What were you doing? Are you hurt?"

"Lukas, I'm fine," the younger brother reassured. "It's not mine."

"You didn't kill someone, did you?" the Norwegian asked, eyes whipping up to his brother's face and searching him for lies.

"What? No! Just let me explain."

"Then talk," Lukas demanded. Eirikur sighed and began telling him what had happened when he was out on his walk. The elder brother furrowed his eyebrows in slight disbelief but could tell that the teen was not lying. The boy seemed sincere and truly worried for his friend. By the end of the story, Lukas suddenly hugged his brother, who was shocked by the action and tried to struggle out of it.

"W-What are you-"

_"I am so proud of you, Eirikur."_

The Icelander froze, speechless. His brother had never been proud of him before; at least not that he knew of. He wasn't really sure how to react. Thankfully, the hug didn't last much longer, and his brother pulled away before it became too awkward.

"Why don't you get a shower and go to bed? We still have school in the morning, after all."

"Uh...yeah," Eirikur agreed and left the room to do as he was told. A nice, warm shower would do good to calm his nerves, after all.

Lukas' eyes softened as he watched his brother leave the room. He placed his book aside and turned off the lamp, deciding that he should also get some sleep. He really never thought his brother capable of saving someone...and though he was truly worried for his friend, he was overwhelmingly proud of his brother. Perhaps there was more to the boy than he thought.

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><p><strong>One more chapter...maybe? Well, this is already much longer than I originally anticipated, so I really can't be sure anymore. Sorry that Eirikur kind of became another main character. That was certainly not in the original plans...but whatever. *shrugs*<strong>

**Thanks for reading & please review ^_^**


	6. Chapter 6

**THIS IS THE LAST CHAPTER~! **

**Hope you enjoyed reading it. :) I still don't understand why it got so many followers. lol**

_**WARNINGS: **__**bullying, depression, cutting/suicide attempt**_

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><p>"The hero has arrived!" Matthias shouted when Lukas and Eirikur walked into homeroom. He ran up and ruffled the latter's hair, making the boy both blush and scowl. "I can't believe you saved someone, man. I wish I coulda seen it! Great job!"<p>

"Yes, I am very proud of him," Lukas added.

Eirikur flushed. "Would you guys stop already?" He really didn't want the whole school knowing about this. It was embarrassing enough already.

"Aw, but why?" Tino asked. "You saved Lovi's life, Eiri! That's amazing." He smiled reassuringly and put the boy into a crushing hug, which was then joined by the other Nords. And of course, none of the conversation went unheard by other students, who began asking questions throughout the rest of the day. And much to the Icelander's dismay, his brother and friends did not hesitate to tell of his 'heroism,' which quickly became the talk of the school.

_'Why can't they mind their own business?' _Eirikur thought as the bell rang, signaling the end of the school day. Apparently, the news had even spread outside of the school as well. People had probably been texting their friends or making Facebook posts or something. He knew this the moment he received a call from a good friend of his that went to another school.

"Hey there, Super Man. What, like, happened?" a voice asked from the other end of the phone. Eirikur sighed.

"Leon, I'm sure you already know that, so do you really have to ask?"

"Just wanted to see that it wasn't, like, just a rumor, I suppose."

Eirikur clicked his tongue in annoyance, hearing Matthias call out to him from afar. "Well, it's not. Anyway, I have to go. I was going to the hospital right after school..."

"Cool. I'll get the details later, I guess. Later, Super Man," Leon joked and heard an aggravated sigh come from his friend.

"That name's gonna stick, isn't it?" the Icelander asked with a groan. Rather than receiving an answer, his friend merely gave a small laugh and hung up. Biting his lip, Eirikur hung up as well and shoved his phone into his pocket. He turned around just as the other Nords were approaching him. "Hm? What?"

"Yer goin' to see Lovino, aren't ya?" Matthias asked with a big grin covering his face. The younger Nord nodded. "We're gonna come with you," the Danish boy demanded, wrapping an arm around the boy's shoulders and walking toward Lukas' car. "To the hospital!" he shouted, throwing an arm in the air and pointing to the sky. Lukas smacked him upside the head, and the lot of them climbed into his car, ready to go see their friend.

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><p>"Feliciano?" asked a tall blond student as he sat at a lunch table across from his friend. The Italian was usually smiling constantly, but today, he only frowned and sat silently as he plucked at his food.<p>

"What is wrong?" a Japanese boy asked as he joined them at the table.

"Ve...I'm worried about Lovi," Feli told them in a saddened voice. His friends exchanged looks of confusion before asking why he'd be worried. "Well...Fratello's in the hospital, and I'm just worried about him, you know?"

"Why is he in the hospital?" the blond, Ludwig, asked with a hint of surprise in his voice.

"Ve...He...Lovi tried to kill himself..." the boy answered with a quivering breath. His two friends' eyes widened. Many people who had overheard their conversation also turned their heads in shock, including a certain trio as well as a teacher who was on lunch duty.

"Lovino...tried to kill himself?" Ludwig asked to be sure he'd heard right. He didn't know how to respond when Feli numbly nodded his head and began to choke back sobs. Soon enough, the Italian had to run out of the lunch room to avoid crying in public. He'd run into the restroom out in the hallway, followed by his two friends, Ludwig and Kiku, who tried their best to calm him. A moment later, the teacher from the lunch room came into the restroom with the principal in tow.

"Feliciano, would you like to step into my office for a moment?" the principal asked kindly, offering the boy his hand.

"I-I'm not i-in trouble, am I?" the Italian panicked through his tears.

"No, you are not," the man said with a gentle shake of his head. "Come. You two should head back to your lunch," he added, nodding toward other two boys. He then led Feli out of the restroom and toward his office, the boy sniffling along the way. "Feliciano...if it's alright, I am going to call your father to pick you up. There really is no need for you to be here today if you are so distraught," he said as he closed his office door behind them and went to pick up his phone. Feli simply nodded and sat quietly in one of the chairs as he listened to the principal's half of the conversation. "He'll be here soon," the man told him after placing the phone back on its holder. He was also told to get his things before leaving.

Nodding again, Feli stood from the chair and left the room quietly, going to fetch his things from the lunch room.

After the boy left, the principal leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes, heaving out a heavy sigh. He hated to admit it, but it pained him to hear that the trouble-making Lovino had tried to kill himself. Even if the Italian had caused him a lot of stress in the past, the thought of the boy's death did not at all make him happy. If anything, it made him feel worse. After all, he may have contributed to the boy's reasons for wanting to end his own life. The man sighed again and decided that it was best not to dwell on his thoughts and to instead begin the paperwork that had piled up on his desk. It was going to be a long day.

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><p><em>'What's going on?' <em>Lovino thought as he weakly ate some cold pizza that the hospital had provided for an early dinner. _'A friend saved me? Father was crying? Feli loves me...? What the hell is...' _He began to bite down on the inside of his cheek subconsciously, drawing blood as he tried to wrap his head around everything that had happened the previous night. He snapped from his thoughts when a knocking was heard at his door, and he looked up to see two figures standing there, smiling lightly at him.

"Lovi," Feliciano said with a smile. "How are you...?"

"Pizza sucks," Lovino answered grumpily while taking another bite of the cold hospital food.

Feli smiled at his brother's grouchiness and laughed. "I can make some of your favorite pasta later and bring it for dinner, if you want." Lovino stared at him a moment before sighing and shaking his head.

"No, you don't need to do that. I can deal with this shit food for a little while."

Feli frowned, along with Romulus, who took a seat beside the bed and watched his bedridden son with cautious eyes. "Lovino..." the elder Italian began, catching the boy's attention. "You don't have to just put up with things you don't like. It's no trouble for us to bring decent food. You know your brother will be making pasta either way."

Feliciano gave a tiny smile and nodded in affirmation. "Please let me make you some pasta, fratello," he said kindly. He just wanted his brother to know that he cared. Lovino looked down and sighed in defeat.

"Do what you want," the bedridden Italian huffed, faking irritation to keep himself from breaking down.

"Alright," Romulus said and stood from his chair. Both sons looked at him in question. He ruffled their hair and bent to hug them both. After letting go, he straightened again. "I'm going to head down to Little Caesars and get us a pizza to share. Be back in a bit," he finished and waved back at them as he left the room. Feli watched in confusion as his father left, then looked over to his brother to see him staring down at the bed sheets again.

"Lovi?"

"Fratello," Lovino said and paused to look up at his brother. "Is this...a dream?" Feliciano furrowed his eyebrows and tilted his head to the side. Lovi took note of the confusion and continued. "This...all of this...it's a dream, isn't it?" he asked with some sadness in his voice and eyes. "It has to be...Father hasn't even yelled once."

"Lovi..." the younger twin cried and slowly walked up to his brother, embracing him in a hug. "I know Father was hard on you, but it's gonna be different now. We love you, fratello, and we don't want to lose you."

"Why?"

Feli pulled back and looked his brother in the eye. "Why wouldn't we? You're family."

Lovino bit his lip and closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. "Feli, can I ask a question? And I want you to answer honestly." His brother nodded slightly, so he continued. "If you can think of anything...is there anything I'm good at?" He waited for an answer but nothing came. He opened his eyes to see tears streaming down his brother's face like waterfalls. He bit his lip again, knowing the answer was nothing.

"You're good at being a friend," a voice said from the doorway.

Shocked, the two Italians turned to see Lukas standing in the door, along with Eirikur and the other three Nords.

"You alright?" Eirikur asked, worried for the friend he had saved. Lovino still wasn't sure what to say and just stared at them in surprise. Feli broke the awkwardness by exclaiming the Icelander's name and pouncing on him, hugging him tight. "Ah...Feliciano..." the young teen said, trying to break out of the hug.

"Lovi!" Feli yelled in excitement as he turned back toward his brother. He pointed back to Eirikur. "Eiri saved you, Lovi~!" Lovino looked to the young Nord, who fidgeted in embarrassment. It didn't help that Lukas and Matthias put their arms around him and started saying how proud they were. Feliciano laughed along. "Lovi, you have nice friends," he stated with a smile.

"Yeah..." Lovino agreed, though he wasn't smiling. The group then turned to him and began talking like usual, just teasing each other and telling funny stories. They didn't ask him about why he'd attempted suicide, much to his relief. Instead, they simply tried to make him happy, which seemed to be working since he was laughing along with the crazy stories Matthias was sharing. Feli couldn't help but smile as well; not just because of the stories but because he had never seen his brother laugh like that, let alone smile. It made him happy to see that Lovino found his place among the Nords.

Romulus then walked into the room with a large pizza, bread-sticks, and a bottle of Root Beer. He froze in the doorway and blinked at the scene. A group of kids he hadn't seen before were crowded around his son's bed, and Lovino was _laughing!_ He couldn't stop staring at his son, whose smile was far more radiant than he could have ever imagined. He only stopped staring when one of the kids, a kind blond boy named Tino, noticed him and asked if he needed help. The two of them set the food up on a bedside table, and the group began to eat together, continuing to share stories of their pasts and things that they planned on doing.

"We're goin' to Finland during winter break," Matthias said with his trademark grin, not really caring about the bits of pizza in his teeth. "You should totally come. We're gonna ski and snowboard, and we're gonna stay in these awesome heated igloos and watch the northern lights. It's gonna be awesome!"

"Uh..." Lovino swallowed. He did like to travel and wanted to try new things, but this was a bit short notice. Winter break was about a month and a half away.

"Sounds fun," Romulus stated and gave an approving smile toward his son. "You should go. It's not every day you get to do stuff like that." He was worried about sending Lovino off on his own after what had happened, but he trusted the boy's new friends to look after him. Besides, it was about time the boy started making his own stories to tell.

Lovino looked at his father questioningly. "But what about Christmas?" he asked, knowing full well that their family refused to miss the holiday.

"We could always use Skype!" Feliciano exclaimed.

"Oui. Skype is good for keeping in touch with your loved ones," interrupted a new voice, again, from the doorway. Lovino glared hard at the familiar trio standing there. Francis was leaning against the door with his arms crossed cockily. Gilbert wore a bored expression with his hands in his hoodie pockets, and Antonio just stood there awkwardly with a crooked smile. Behind them were Ludwig and Kiku.

"Why the hell are you bastards here?!" Lovino growled, hands clenched into fists.

"Sorry," Ludwig apologized, "I couldn't stop my idiot brother from tagging along."

"Kesesesesese~! But why would you want to stop the awesome me? Little Lovino is my friend, is he not?"

"Fuck you," the Italian snarled and looked ready to bite the albino's head off.

"Tsk, tsk. No need to be so angry, mon ami," Francis teased, eyeing the Italian. "We are here to make amends." Lovi gave him a cautious look, not willing to trust the guy who had got him kicked out of school and helped beat the shit out of him. He really didn't owe them his trust or any kindness at that. He simply glared hatefully at his two bullies, and it became obvious to the others in the room that he did not want them anywhere near him. Lukas was the first to stand, followed by the intimidating Berwald, Tino, Matthias, and finally Eirikur.

"I think you should leave," the Norwegian stated with a boldness to his usually-blank voice. The others nodded, standing protectively between Lovino and the cocky newcomers. Francis frowned angrily and glared. Gilbert pouted childishly. Antonio looked genuinely upset. The three of them left without many complaints, Ludwig and Kiku ready to follow them out before being told they could stay. "Who were they?" Lukas asked Lovino after the troublesome trio was gone.

"Just a couple of bastards and their friend," Lovi replied irritably, not wanting to elaborate. He was sure they could figure it out without all the details.

"I'll be sure to scold Gilbert later," the tall German said with disappointment. He was well aware of how troublesome his brother could be.

"Thanks..." Lovino said, not really looking at him. He wasn't sure how else to respond since he wasn't exactly friends with Ludwig or Kiku. The German nodded in response. The room fell into an awkward silence for a while, everyone just sitting (and standing), thinking of whatever.

"Oh," Eirikur said suddenly, causing everyone to look over at him. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a cell phone, handing it to Lovino. "Sorry. I kind of forgot to give that back," he explained and sat back down. The Italian thanked him, silently observing the dried blood stains on the cellular device before placing it on the stand beside the bed.

His friends stayed for another hour or so. They had to leave and finish their homework. Feli's friends stayed a bit longer before heading home as well, leaving the three Italians alone.

"Your friends are very nice," Romulus told his son, who looked about ready for bed. Feli yawned, exhausted from spending all day in a hospital. "Are you ready to head home?" the elder Italian asked, petting his son's hair. "Your brother needs his rest." The two of them stood and pulled on their jackets. "We'll be back tomorrow to pick you up, and we'll eat out anywhere you want, okay?" he told Lovino and gave him a tight hug.

"Okay...but I'm fine with just eating idiota's pasta at home."

"Don't call your brother an idiot," Romulus scolded lightly and ruffled his son's hair. "Love you," he said before breaking the hug. He and Feli left shortly afterward, leaving Lovino to sit in wonder alone. He'd been waiting so long for those words and honestly never thought he'd receive them. It happened so casually, and yet...those words changed everything.

He didn't have to be senseless. He was loved...for who he was.

* * *

><p><strong>A boringlame ending, I know. Whatever. Hope it was at least decent to you guys.**

**Thanks for reading & please review ^_^**


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